Driver's Drivel^©

Here are some "Transportation Terms" I've coined:

Accelawaiter

An Accel-a-waiter is a driver that can't seem to find the accelerator until you try to pass him, then he's a speed demon. See related terms "Droptubloku" and "Inverse Speed Rule" which are often exhibited by the same driver.

Cardashein

A Car-dash-he(or she)-in is a driver who waits until the very last minute then quickly jumps in front of you.

Cellopain

A Cell-o-pain is a driver who talks on his cell phone and ignores the other cars on the road.

Clingon

A Cling-on is a driver who stays in the left lane even when he's the only car on the road.

Clogger

A Clogger is a driver who doesn't see anything wrong with moving at the exact same speed as the car next to him, usually to his right. This clogs the road and makes 2-lane highways impassable.

Droptubloku

A Drop-tu-blok-u is an Accelawaiter who's speed drops back down to below the speed limit just after you give up trying to pass. See related terms "Accelawaiter" and "Inverse Speed Rule" which are often exhibited by the same driver.

Inverse Speed Rule

The Inverse Speed Rule is called on by a driver that slows down at a progressive rate as he moves into lanes further to the left and/or speeds up at a progressive rate as he moves into lanes to the right. See related terms "Accelawaiter" and "Droptubloku" which are often exhibited by the same driver.

Roamurlane

Roam-ur-lane is a driver that weaves back and forth in his lane, frequently crossing partway into other lanes.

Sitiot

A Sitiot is a driver that stops the car halfway into the driveway and gets out to get the mail, leaving the car blocking half the road.

Snooter

Snooter refers to actively changing lanes, in a safe and controlled manner, in order to stay a the head of the pack. To snooter properly requires finesse.

Warped Drive

Warped Drive is exhibited by a car that weaves back and forth from lane to lane and ignores the other cars on the road. His choice of lanes has nothing to do with his speed...or yours.

• drumming (with sticks!) on the steering wheel
• playing with a miniature Etch-A-Sketch propped on the steering wheel
• eating from a bowl with chop sticks
• eating a bowl of ceral with a spoon
• reading a novel propped on the steering wheel
• shaving with an electric razor
• applying eye makeup
• reading a newspaper over the steering wheel
• brushing his teeth

• Do you really think someone who can't even park a car between the lines should be allowed to drive?
• Should cell phones be illegal for a driver to use in a moving car? Maybe just in the left lane?
• How can a person drive if they can't see over the steering wheel?

• Failure to keep right
• Turning, exiting or changing lanes without signaling
• Riding the brakes
• Rear fog lights - they look so much like brake lights
• High beams blinding other drivers, especially in daylight!
• CD's or glass crystals hanging from the rearview mirror and reflecting sunlight into drivers' eyes
  

• Uphill passing lanes belong on the left
  
• Lanes shouldn't end without a warning sign, especially just after an entrance ramp
  
• Lanes shouldn't end right before an exit (like 100 feet before!)
  
• Ramps should be banked, not off-camber
  

Rembember...

Failure to keep right is the root of all traffic.

Purchase "Failure to keep right" bumper sticker